New Study Confirms Guy You Went To High School With Definitely Knows More Than World’s Top Virology Doctors

“Look at the data! Look at the numbers!” the 31 year old said while not looking at the data or number from Australia.

By Scott Slute

Woodbridge - A recent study funded by Chris Sky’s dad has confirmed that, despite years of schooling followed by decades of practice in their field, the world’s leading experts on viruses actually know alarmingly less than that guy you went to high school with who watched a couple videos on Instagram.

“The research is in, and it turns out all the leading medical experts from all across the world have gotten together to create a global conspiracy to enslave us starting by forcing us not to breath in microscopic viruses while shopping,” said the studies lead researcher 31 year old Greg Kibberd, unemployed.

The study concluded that Joe Rogan was right and you in fact can get all the information you need from the internet, especially if you went looking for things you wanted a specific answer to.

The study also conclusively confirmed that private property laws were a hoax dating back to Confederation, and you could legally enter any building you wanted to without a mask as long as you were recording it on your phone while screaming incoherently about the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

“Have you even read 1984?,” continued Kibberd, "I mean I haven’t but I read a summary of it on Wikipedia and I’ll tell you this for free bud, we're living in it right now I think!”

While vehemently disagreeing with 100% of the study, opponents to the results did agree that under Ontario’s half-aseed, noncommittal definition of a “lockdown”, it was fair to say “lockdowns don’t work”.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold