BREAKING: Pepe Le Pew Reportedly Visited Jeffrey Epstein’s Island Over 46 Times
By Paul Dudar
Los Angeles - The Showbiz world was stunned weeks ago when Parisian Skunk, Pepe Le Pew was dropped from the upcoming Warner Brothers movie Space Jam, or "cancelled" as many have called it.
After weeks of suspicious silence from the studio, The Harold has now uncovered hundred of photos of Le Pew with deceased pedophile and sex trafficker Jeffery Epstein. The Harold has confirmed with several sources that Le Peu was a frequent visitor to Epstein’s private island in the US Virgin Islands.
According to one source, who spoke to us on the condition of anonymity, “TARNATION! He used to fly out of Heathrow on a private jet with that Lilly-livered Royal, Prince Andrew! I said nothing!” The source then fired twin colt pistols into the air out of sheer frustration and agnoizing guilt.
Le Pew, seen here making unwanted advances towards a feline masseuse on Epstein’s Island
Another source revealed, “Meeeeeeeeh! The studio knew and they did nottin,” as he munched on a carrot. “Le Pew was a creep, he was always latching onto the black cats that came onto the set. Never left them alone.” The source then swiftly burrowed away.
Sylvester The Cat was the first to break his silence publicly in an exclusive interview with The Harold. “Sufferin suckatash! I knew he was a fucking monster,” exclaimed Sylvester as he unintentionally sprayed our reporters with his feline saliva. “Tweety said that he saw him harassing Lola but I didn’t believe him!”
“I taught I saw him hawassing Lola,” said Tweety in an official statement. “I called it! I called it, he waaas a monster!”
At press time, conservative media reinforced the importance of a hyper-sexualized female buxom anthropomorphic Lola Bunny in modern western culture. Said Senator Cruz of Texas “We will not let the socialist, liberal media take away our good-looking, well endowed Leporidae!"
Buckingham Palace has since come to the defence Le Pew.
Paul Dudar is currently serving with The Royal Canadian Space Shuttle Door Gunners. More of Paul's work can be found at @pauldudar and on his website at pauldudar.com