Doug Ford Blames Young People Doing Exactly What He Told Them To Do For Recent Virus Spread
“You know, we’ve got these kids going to their jobs at essential business I unnecessarily reopened. Often going in with COVID symptoms because I voted against paid sick days. Then they go back to their apartment with their four roommates because there’s no affordable housing. It’s unacceptable. Folks, we have to start taking this virus seriously.”
By Scott Slute
Niagara Falls - During a press hearing held in the home riding of Proud Boys poster child Sam Oosterhoff, the Premier said that the rise in COVID-19 cases could be blamed solely on the provinces youth, who over the last few weeks have been forced to return to their jobs working in crowded public spaces after the Premier reopened restaurants and retail stores in outbreak zones across the province.
“You’ve just got to make sure you follow the protocols and follow the guidelines,” the Premier told a crowd in front of Niagara Falls while he ate a beavertail, “And yes of course the protocols and guidelines make no sense, and instead of helping small business I just opened the small business up and told Ontarians to go shop there. But the field hospitals popping up across Toronto are the fault of 20-somethings going out to patios so they can drink enough to forget how poorly my government has handled this pandemic.”
The Premier then pleaded with Ontario’s youth, explaining to them the consequences of having to go to work during a global pandemic in order to make the interest payments on their six figure student loan debts.
“What happens if you bring it home to your many roommates or your family who you still have to live with in your early 30’s because my government has done nothing to provide affordable housing in your city while simultaneously blocking a minimum wage that would provide a liveable income. What then?”
Ford then threatened to cancel Easter, saying no one could go visit their families over the weekend, which was met by thunderous applause by the onlooking young adults.
Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold